February 29, 2008

Here I go, blog #2. I hope you are prepared.

I decided today that I am a morning person. I also decided that too much free time means I get nothing done. I need some kind of motivation or time restraint - which is good I think. I also decided that life is too short to stay inside, to stay in bed, to take the easy way out. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing, right? Today that is true.

Sunday was a good day for me, in the same way that getting punched in the face every once in a while does you good. Greg talked about God being a lover, wanting us to be his lover rather than his casual frienship or weekend fling - ouch. That one hit me hard, especially because i've never seen myself as a lover - I'm so good at holding people at arm's length, at loving from afar, but I don't do vulnerable. I don't do baring it all in front of someone. I love my mystery - it's my protection... but it does seem silly to try and hide and protect yourself from the one who made you, the one who knows you better than you know yourself. So I'm trying to learn to be a lover. I'll let you know how it goes. I'm not doing so hot on my silence and solitude ritual or lack thereof, but I'm hoping to try again this week with more success. It's too important not to try.

This week was my first week off of working as a housekeeper, and my first week of work as a tutor, and I couldn't be happier. The money was nice and will come in handy in Chicago, but it wasn't worth it. I was born to teach, I feel lost whenever I try to do something else, - like wearing my shoes on the wrong feet or trying to write with my right hand... it's just not natural. If that's not a sign that I'm in the right major, I don't know what is.

Baby Jethro had a hell of a week - his ignition went out on monday, but he was better by wednesday, and let's just say I would be lost without a car! I never realized how nice it was to be able to leave the house when I was ready or be able to leave campus when I wanted... it's the little things that you take for granted - it was nice to be reminded of what I have. (and will hopefully have for many years to come haha)

Chicago happens in less than a week and I can't freaking wait! It's going to be an awesome time from start to finish - great friends, great road trip, great concert, great brother, great roommates, great food, great city... It'll be just what I need it to be. It does however leave my spring break uncomfortable vacant of any exciting activity... maybe that's a good thing. Ideally, I'd like to record some new stuff that i've written on piano, but that takes money and time and a place and people, of which I only have time... we'll see. Otherwise, I'd like to lock myself into a room with 10 or so books that I've been wanting/needing to read. It'd be nice to do some kind of traveling though - even if it's just to some random town - it's like a placebo... it doesn't actually matter where you go, it just matters that you go.

Once again, a long blog, but what can ya do.
I love lists. here's one
top ten awesome things about this past week
1. I love my new job. i feel like i'm cheating the system by getting paid to do what i love...
2. I got to see Joshua! It does my heart good to see old friends...
3. Wally is still kicking, despite the horrendous state of his fish tank
4. I finished an amazing book - "I know why the caged bird sings" by Maya Angelou.
5. Crab Legs. tonight. 'nuf said
6. One nutrition exam down, two to go!
7. Thrift store. Blue Aviators. 99 cents.
8. The wind literally blew me over while I was walking. That's just funny.
9. Elise and I now having matching pink toenails. And she tells stories about me. I love that.
10. I got to spend an amazing Saturday with my father and brother; my family rocks.
blog done.

February 21, 2008

First blog. ever. besides the one i made for class last night, but that doesn't count because... because i did it for class. So i've put off making a blog because i'm deathly afraid that i will stop writing in my journals, but i decided that that will not be the case as i will only allow myself to post online once a week. this probably will not continue to be the case once i am slowly brainwashed by the ease of technology, but frankly, i don't have a computer with me all that often, so the journal will still come in handy. besides, posting every day would mean that i have to have something to write about every day, and that is questionable.
So, I was going to do this sunday but i've watched two online hour and a half lectures in a row and i needed an easy activity to do while my brain unhinges itself from the roof of my skull. So this is it. Who knows if this will actually be a consistent thing... I guess time will tell my true blogging colors.
What do you do after creating a blog? Probably email your mom and tell her the website so she can check up on you when you forget to call, right? I'll add that to my to do list.
Dr's appointment in omaha this morning... went better than i thought it would. two new medicines, so that's exciting- i'm also weaning off of two old medicines, so i won't be taking copious amounts of drugs (but i will be taking more than the average person, which is fine, i mean, after all i do have a disease or two...) I'm excited about these new drugs though (despite their slight correlation to cancer...but what doesn't cause cancer now-a-days...) simply because i'm sick of taking...trying to take...pentasa four times a day. that's just impractical and mean.
The steroids will also be nice to quit - though i will miss my muscles haha. They make me feel messy, in a rush, zonked, and drunk all at once. (The in a rush one is the worst, trust me. You feel ridiculous when you do everything twice as fast as you normally would, and you just mess up a lot)
I'm so tired, i feel like i'm on my 8th wind. fell asleep in class today - i think. i'm not sure if i was sleeping, but i have pieces of my notes missing and i don't really remember much of anything. i think i was sleeping, or very close to it. And i work tomorrow morning, so no sign of getting much sleep until, uh, monday? full weekend, which is fine, but i'm going to be close to falling on my face until then. hopefully i can hang on. writing a blog probably isn't the best use of my time at this point, considering the massive nutrition exam i have on sunday night over a million words i've never heard or used before (polysaccharides?!?) should be a fun time for all.
blogs aren't supposed to be this long. shoot
i messed it up already
more later, mom :)
jen