February 29, 2008

Here I go, blog #2. I hope you are prepared.

I decided today that I am a morning person. I also decided that too much free time means I get nothing done. I need some kind of motivation or time restraint - which is good I think. I also decided that life is too short to stay inside, to stay in bed, to take the easy way out. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing, right? Today that is true.

Sunday was a good day for me, in the same way that getting punched in the face every once in a while does you good. Greg talked about God being a lover, wanting us to be his lover rather than his casual frienship or weekend fling - ouch. That one hit me hard, especially because i've never seen myself as a lover - I'm so good at holding people at arm's length, at loving from afar, but I don't do vulnerable. I don't do baring it all in front of someone. I love my mystery - it's my protection... but it does seem silly to try and hide and protect yourself from the one who made you, the one who knows you better than you know yourself. So I'm trying to learn to be a lover. I'll let you know how it goes. I'm not doing so hot on my silence and solitude ritual or lack thereof, but I'm hoping to try again this week with more success. It's too important not to try.

This week was my first week off of working as a housekeeper, and my first week of work as a tutor, and I couldn't be happier. The money was nice and will come in handy in Chicago, but it wasn't worth it. I was born to teach, I feel lost whenever I try to do something else, - like wearing my shoes on the wrong feet or trying to write with my right hand... it's just not natural. If that's not a sign that I'm in the right major, I don't know what is.

Baby Jethro had a hell of a week - his ignition went out on monday, but he was better by wednesday, and let's just say I would be lost without a car! I never realized how nice it was to be able to leave the house when I was ready or be able to leave campus when I wanted... it's the little things that you take for granted - it was nice to be reminded of what I have. (and will hopefully have for many years to come haha)

Chicago happens in less than a week and I can't freaking wait! It's going to be an awesome time from start to finish - great friends, great road trip, great concert, great brother, great roommates, great food, great city... It'll be just what I need it to be. It does however leave my spring break uncomfortable vacant of any exciting activity... maybe that's a good thing. Ideally, I'd like to record some new stuff that i've written on piano, but that takes money and time and a place and people, of which I only have time... we'll see. Otherwise, I'd like to lock myself into a room with 10 or so books that I've been wanting/needing to read. It'd be nice to do some kind of traveling though - even if it's just to some random town - it's like a placebo... it doesn't actually matter where you go, it just matters that you go.

Once again, a long blog, but what can ya do.
I love lists. here's one
top ten awesome things about this past week
1. I love my new job. i feel like i'm cheating the system by getting paid to do what i love...
2. I got to see Joshua! It does my heart good to see old friends...
3. Wally is still kicking, despite the horrendous state of his fish tank
4. I finished an amazing book - "I know why the caged bird sings" by Maya Angelou.
5. Crab Legs. tonight. 'nuf said
6. One nutrition exam down, two to go!
7. Thrift store. Blue Aviators. 99 cents.
8. The wind literally blew me over while I was walking. That's just funny.
9. Elise and I now having matching pink toenails. And she tells stories about me. I love that.
10. I got to spend an amazing Saturday with my father and brother; my family rocks.
blog done.