another week...
summer school started monday and it's not half bad. it's only three hours a day and i journal through most of it so it's bearable. i'm actually learning on occasion too... wierd huh. it's nutrition 100 so for now it's all about what are you eating, are you exercising... etc... i'm actually glad for the accountability. i rode my new sweet bike to school wednesday and it was just as hard and sucky as i thought it would be haha it wouldn't have been half bad but i had to ride home too. it took me 30 minutes to get there but i wasn't booking it or anything. we'll see if i decide to do that again next week - my bum was pretty sore :) i swam with lindsay today. i don't know why i wasn't born a mermaid. everything makes so much more sense the minute i'm underwater. swam a 900 which isn't bad considering i haven't swam in months. i'm going to try to swim a 1,000 twice next week but we'll see. - anyone up for a swim with me?!?! swimming just feels so good, everything about it. it's rhythmic, soothing, calming, i just wish my ears weren't so angry at the chlorine water all the time.
still reading "extremely loud and incredible close" aloud at night with jenn- it's been fun. i have to read though cuz if she does i fall asleep - which isn't a bad thing except then i have to catch up the next day before we read together again haha. also still reading "a million little pieces" even though it got all that hype for being not real - it's still a good book i think. i'm halfway through it so we'll see how much longer that takes me. it depends on if i start reading any tozer, which i think i might.
i also think i might come home this weekend question mark? kaitlin's there, and it's memorial day. i might as well, right? i'm being an extra in a movie tomorrow but after that...why not? i don't know when i'll be able to go home next so i might as well.
been listening to iron and wine a ton this week - especially boy with a coin. if you haven't heard it or seen the video, please do so now.
down to 20 mg of the drugs... i've got 10 days then i'll go down again. according to previous attempts i'll get sick in 20 to 30 days. we'll see. i'm hoping it'll be different this time. it has to be. i can't live like this. it's not living at all. i haven't been myself since january... i can't be myself on these drugs. i looked up the side affects of prednisone - one of them is "innappropriate happiness" i kid you not. i know that sounds awesome but i'd rather be appropriately happy. exreme mood swings and inability to sleep are also side affects that suck. i'm just ready to be off this freakin roller coaster. i want to be in charge of when and why i'm happy. i feel like someone else is in charge of my life, i'm just a puppet... and there's nothing i can do about it for another 40 days... ugh. i'm getting there, slowly but surely. i will get off of these drugs by myself without any trips to the er and i will live a normal life. and i will choose when i'm happy on my own terms :)