alright, first things first. i must confess. i am addicted. to climbing. yeah, i know it sounds lame, but the addiction is real my friends. i spent 2 and a half hours bouldering (climbing without a harness). in a garage. 2 of those hours were spent trying to master the exact same move. (which i did finally at 1:45am thank you very much!) my body wishes that i had picked something a little less physically demanding, but i love climbing - the challenge of it, it's a rush, and a chance to push yourself.
16 days left in the drug countdown, 26 if you count withdrawal symptoms. hydrocodone count is up to three so far on 10mg, one of which was this morning. i woke up sick this morning but didn't register that i needed to take something until 2 hours after the pain had started. crohn's 1, jenny 0. however, this is the farthest i've gotten off of steroids since january, and that's a big deal. no trips to the er in i think like 5 weeks! (coincidentally, that's about when i started climbing. hmmmm)
i was up until 2:30 last night just, up. couldn't get my mind to slow down, couldn't stop pacing, talking to myself. i won't claim to know anything about drug rehab, but i seriously feel like a crack addict. i itch under my skin, i see things that aren't there, i can't speak, i can't focus, i can't follow a logical train of thought, I can't hold still for the life of me, my body aches, my hand shake, my head pounds, and for as much of me that is on overdrive there's another part of me that is unbelievably exhausted. i do things that don't make any sense. - i cleaned the top of the fridge yesterday and i hadn't even packed for norfolk... i have no appetite, i'm suspicious of everyone, i just don't feel like myself. last night i swear i saw black ink seeping into jenn's room from the walls...then again i also thought i saw blue scorpions running around outside in the rain last night. don't ask me why they were blue. i feel bad for jenn, poor girl, trying to decipher me and my bizarre behavior.
started packing up my things last night - i leave for omaha tonight, then norfolk saturday until thursday, then i move friday and saturday so i figured i'd get a head start on it. not sure how i'm getting back to norfolk (hopefully sometime thursday), but mom and dad are coming down saturday to help with the big stuff. i'm excited to be out of this apartment, especially considering the fact that last night our dishwasher wouldn't quit spewing water all over the kitchen...
16 days...until i can breathe again