I don't know if this is true of all professions but I am so struck by the clash between reality and theory in the teaching world.  Ideally, all of our kids are offered this great education with the help of hundreds of adults all doing a different job to meet the needs of each student on an individual basis.  In reality, there are hundreds of adults but they are often on different pages or all trying to complete a different goal for each student.  For example, as a teacher I'm working to give 25ish kids the best education I can, as often and as soon as I can, so I use administrators and counselors for individual support.  Their job is to create a better situation for individual students- no matter how long or how hard they have to work.  What they don't realize is that the longer they take helping each individual student succeed (even the ones who are determined to "unsucceed" as one of my kids said) the more my 25 students as a whole are struggling because of one or two others.  It all boils down to a lot of different people all trying to achieve somewhat similar goals but all needing to answer to someone higher up with even slightly different goals.  As much as everyone says its about the students, it's easy to forget when you're in the middle of it.  Not to mention that each teacher has a department head who has a curriculum advisor and each student has an advisor who has a dean.

done venting

I'm loving my job and finally getting the hang of it (kind of).  That entails:

-getting copies done more than one day in advance

-not forgetting my water bottle and/or plans and/or seating chart in one of my four rooms

-remembering to check my mailbox and email more than once a day

-remembering 80% of my 170some student names

-learning to laugh when i feel like crying

-mastering "the look"

-memorizing all of the ridiculous acronyms teachers have for EVERYTHING

-being able to leave work at 5 feeling like i'm somewhat aware of what will be happening the following day

-building some really awesome relationships with some incredible kids, most of whom have no idea how incredible they are!

and on that happy ending... i'm out!

first week down! 39 to go.

I have officially survived my first week of teaching.  It has been a crazy week and I'm sure the rest will be even crazier but I know that I loved it!  I have challenging kids, difficult expectations, three different bosses, and 2 plan periods.  I have been working 10 hour days all this week and will probably continue to work 10 hour days until I get my feet under me - a.k.a. next year.  I was so excited for this weekend to come...then spent all of saturday on the floor with severe stomach pain.  Took some meds and ibuprofen and then spent all of today trying to recover.  Apparently my stomach was not very happy about the amount of medicine i took.  I finally ate a plum which I then threw up 2 hours later.  Hopefully next weekend will prove to be a little more relaxing.  

work is hard. i'm very tired.  more later.

I just finished my first real week of teacher-life.  I have had more emails and meetings this week than I had had in a whole semester at college.  I couldn't even keep up with the emails- as soon as I would read one and respond or do whatever it said, I'd get another. and that's not even counting all-staff emails. at least one every 5-10 minutes there.  I'm sure I'll get used to it but it's overwhelming right now.  I also didn't realize how many teams, committees, and departments are involved.  In my classes alone I'm automatically in two departments and a team, they haven't assigned committees yet.  I do love our team though - they seem like an awesome group.  

I found out I have to try and teach excel to freshmen in spanish so I'm going to have to actually open up the program and mess with it quite a bit before I attempt that. - at least I'll be learning too.  

I still don't have all the keys to my classrooms and my syllabi are still in rough draft form.  I'm sure it will all come together somehow.  As much as I wish we still had a week to prepare, I think it will be better to just dive in where we are and learn along the way.  I don't care what teacher help book you're reading, you can never be fully prepared for the first day.  I only have my freshmen for 6 minutes in each class monday - seems like a waste but it should help them find their way around the school and at least meet their teachers, and hopefully give me a bunch of time to finish all my last minute items!  

I'm still having trouble wrapping my brain around the theoretical side of teaching that you learn in college colliding with the actuality of the day-in-day-out reality of teaching.  I've met some incredible teachers though that give me hope that it can be done.

today is the day that we "graduate" from our teacher boot camp.  all i can say is, i'm so glad that today is friday.  i'm already beginning to question my body's ability to keep up.  i refuse to play the crohn's card and say that i can't, but i am constantly wondering if this is good for my body to even try - if this makes normal people exhausted, what makes me think i'll be able to survive??  it's not even just about getting enough sleep, it's this weird, internal exhaustion that sinks into my bones.  i don't know if it's gotten worse since the remicaid, or if my life has just gotten busy, but i have serious questions as to whether or not by body will be able to cope with the demands.  but, i refuse to quit without giving it a year (or however it takes until i'm admitted into the hospital two or three times).  

lincoln tomorrow - relaxing day with nora and the kids and hopefully some other lincoln friends.  sunday is the day guero and i start helping out at church with the wee ones. i'm excited but wondering if this is one more thing i'm adding to my plate.  in any case i feel like i need to serve more and it won't be every week - i think 2 on 6 off is how they're running it.  

next week is curriculum development and decorating the room(s).  should give me some time to really go over my lessons and solidify the first week and hopefully find out who i'm co-teaching with (?) i heard yesterday that i might not be co-teaching after all. if that's the case, i'd like to know what the class is about...sometime soon.

also, phone broke last night. hopefully i can get one today. i don't even care what it looks like as long as it works. 

jen

2 days in a row?! yup.

day one of my training:

1. heard a really surprisingly good speaker.

2. got my keys, but have no idea what they go to.

3. got my schedule. i start out with spanish one. that's gonna be tough.  i don't even speak english well at 7:45 in the morning let alone spanish. 

4. managed to already lose the folder with the training agenda. oh well.

5. got my id badge - i am officially a ms. now.

6. grade book and lesson planning book are in my possession.

7. made a friend who i think will end up saving my sanity on many occasions this year.

8. i still can't believe i lost that freaking folder.  hope there wasn't anything super important...

9. filled out an i-9 and a w-4. they should try to make those more fun - maybe colored paper or a prettier font.

10. i feel like this year is going to be awesomely challenging and i'm ok with that. or at least today i'm ok with that. 

august 3rd

this is my last official day of freedom before it begins.  tomorrow is my first training day - with all the other new ops teachers.  probably entailing motivational speakers, ways to not get fired, and hopefully some useful information.

i am sure this blog will quickly transform into a list of what not to do as a first year teacher. most days i am excited about the challenge; other days i am reminded that the 2009-2010 school year will represent a whole lot of trial and error (more error than anything) and that is frustrating.  i am eager about all that i am about to learn but not quite as eager at the way it must be learned - me, flat on my face, thinking "well, let's not do it that way next year, eh?" 

in my last effort attempt to remind myself how to teach in case i forgot over the summer i have begun reading "up the down staircase" and "see me after class" both written by teachers for teachers, with more of a "we feel your pain" attitude rather than a fool-proof guide, which is good.

the butterflies moved into my tummy sometime earlier today and i think they actually plan on staying there until my kids come on the 17th. i hope thaddius e. crohn's is ok with that.  here's the worst part: not only do i have a first day with all my freshman on the 17th, but then i get another first day on the 18th with all the high schoolers.  doesn't that just sound mean?! two first days... maybe i'll be grateful for the transition.  I think that four of my six classes will be mostly if not all freshman anyway.  actually, i have no idea. 

on a completely other note, i am officially moved in at my new place of residence. i am definitely loving it and will love it even more when i find a place for all my stuff.  the space is perfect for me. pictures will be coming soon i hope!  kaitlin is also here starting today and now i am so unbelievably grateful at the timing of her moving in the day before i begin this new journey.  i know i will strongly rely on her support and encouragement as well as her company over wine and gilmore girls.