this is my last day in san diego and everything in me is screaming to stay. something about this place feels right, and my heart aches at the thought of leaving. knowing that i will be back in 73 days is all that is keeping me afloat.
on the phone all morning with eastlake high, the district, UNL peeps, and of course my mother trying to get my student teaching set up. and it's a nightmare - buti t's worth it if it means moving out here and being with people i love. you know the saying "everything good is worth fighting for" well that person should be shot. twice. in the elbow. it's unnecessary, really, and just plain annoying. i'm nowhere near giving up but this sure could be hella easier. I will say one thing - this has me on my knees on more than a daily basis and for that i am grateful. if it takes all this nonsense to keep me humble before my creator, i'm down. (but seriously Lord, give me a break, please?)
God has been opening my eyes to the fact that it's not about me - it never has been. and i know that sounds so freaking elementary but it needs to be my constant reminder. I so often find myself asking God to fit my needs, fill in my gaps, and create my happy ending and life is so much bigger than that. I'm fighting the urge to regain my independence from Christ. Life makes no sense without him...
This trip has been amazing - just what i needed. It's like a sneek preview of what is to come, and it has given me the strength and courage to fight for it.